Thinking About Divorce?

On your wedding day you looked into eyes of your partner and felt a sense of joy and happiness and hope. It was impossible to think that there would ever come a day when your world would be turned upside down and divorce seemed like the only option; when the inevitable challenges in your relationship felt like they had become insurmountable. But here you are.

What to do? Of course you have thought about your options, perhaps obsessively. Let’s take a look together for a moment. Ask yourself these quesitons before moving forward:

Do I think there is any hope?

If you truly believe that your partner is not the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, it is probably time to consult with a lawyer. However, if you think there is still a chance, possibly a ray of hope, and that it is a change in the relationship you want rather than a change of partners, marriage counseling may be in order. Our office can help you think through this issue.

What part do I play in our relationship problems?

Few of us are able to clearly see and accept responsibility for our own role in our relationship struggles. Ask yourself, is there any way that changing my behavior can save the marriage? For example, am I am quick to anger, and do I become defensive in situations rather than actually listening to what my partner is trying to share with me? Am I willing to be honest about my actions and my responses? Am I willing to compromise?

Have I done everything I can to repair or save the marriage?

A handful of (fortunate) couples are able to repair a failing relationship by accepting their respective roles in the breakdown of their marriage. Ask yourself, have I done everything I can to work things through with my partner? Might counseling help save our marriage?

Am I expecting too much?

People often enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations that inevitably doom the relationship. The perfect spouse and the perfect marriage do not exist, at least for very long. Ask yourself, is it possible for me to feel good by finding a compromise on an issue that works for both my partner and me? If we can learn to do it once, perhaps we can learn to make it a way of life.

Have I prepared myself for the divorce process?

The divorce process, even under the best of circumstances, is challenging. After all, it is not every day that one wakes up and says okay, “I think today is the perfect day to work on dividing up the kids and the assets we’ve worked so hard to accumulate.”

However, if divorce feels like the only sensible solution for you, or the only option, our office can help you through the process. Please give us a call.

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